I believe the last time Micah went for a professional hair cut was in 2006. The day was such a disaster that I vowed never to take him back and, so far, that is a vow that has been kept. For as long as I can remember, Micah has always had an odd obsession with hair. He cannot seem to tolerate a hair on his clothing or on anyone else. Given that he has eyes like an eagle, this has led him to bolt towards random strangers stationed across a room to remove a stray hair that he has noted. As you can expect, this behavior has been a bit startling for those poor souls who are unaware that they are missing a hair that Micah is bent on retrieving.
In regards to his own hair, we tried to keep it short so that he did not pull on it, but the process of getting it cut was an increasing nightmare as he did not like the feel of hair falling when it was cut as it seemed to send him into sensory overload. Thus, he was a flailing, moving target when he needed a haircut.
The last professional hair cut was made worse by the fact that it was a busy Saturday, so we had to wait, never an easy thing for Micah to do. When it was finally his turn, I had to try to assist the salon staff in holding him somewhat still as he whipped his head back and forth, basically making it impossible to give him a decent haircut. As his frustration level increased, the stylist became increasingly agitated. When she was about to give up, I insisted he hold still in a not so kind mom voice which caused him to start to cry. The little guy one seat over who was observing the fiasco next to him, probably determined we were torturing Micah so he, in turn, started to cry. Thus, we left the salon as quickly as we could, leaving chaos in our wake. I returned home and informed his father that I was never taking Micah for another haircut. “No problem” he replied, “I will pick up a home hair cutting kit and do it myself”.
As skeptical as I was about that plan, it was a good plan for a while. Micah was more relaxed at home, listened to his father, and was very happy to be able to take a shower right after the hair cut to get all stray hairs off his skin. But as his father’s illness progressed, there came a time when I said I would take over cutting Micah’s hair. Although it looked easy when his dad cut his hair, it was anything but easy when I tried. Micah squirmed and moved so much that each haircut needed to be covered for a few days with a baseball cap to prevent questions about what happened to his hair. One day, after what must have been an especially bad haircut, his older brother Josh asked me if he could try cutting Micah’s hair. Having nothing to lose, I said he could try but he needed to remember that Micah refuses to stay still so he would have to cut quickly while I held Micah’s head in position. I further cautioned Josh on the sharpness of the razor and the risk of cutting his brother; concerns which Josh jauntily dismissed.
Josh then instructed me to give them some space while he prepared Micah for his hair cut. That statement triggered my control issues, but I decided he would learn the hard way so I stepped back as instructed. While I continued to offer advice on safe hair cutting techniques, I noted, much to my amazement, that Micah was still as a statue while his brother cut his hair. In fact, the entire haircut took half of the time of my previous disastrous efforts with the end result of Micah actually sporting a good haircut.
That was the day I happily retired from cutting Micah’s hair. All I need to do now is to send Josh a text saying “Help, Mom is threatening to cut my hair, Micah” and his brother calls to set up a time to stop over and rescue him. It is a win/win for all.
I have read that hair cutting is a challenge for many others who have Autism and hope that those of you gifted with hair-cutting skills will take note and offer to step in for a hair rescue if needed. Your skill, just might change a nightmare activity into a positive experience with the end result a haircut that does not need a ball cap to cover the evidence!
Happy 30th birthday to the best barber brother ever!
Jan Lessard Peightell
April 3, 2019