Earlier this month my church planned an outdoor service at the pavilion that was built in memory of Micah’s father Gary. Although I am always happy when the pavilion is in use, I approached the service with mixed feelings as the last outdoor service was a bit of a nightmare due to Micah’s behavior. That service took place during one of his cyclical times of heightened obsessive behaviors, which should have been my clue that he might have a hard time with all of the extra temptations close at hand; but Micah had done well staying in his lawn chair at prior services so we went.
On that past Sunday Micah held it together for maybe 5 minutes before he began picking up leaves and sticks around us and tossing them behind us. Fortunately, no one was sitting right behind us, but there were others sitting fairly close by so I tried my best to convince him to sit still. That was mission impossible for Micah and soon his behaviors escalated to pulling large clumps of grass from the lawn. I tried my stern mother whisper which did nothing to impact his excavation of the lawn so I grabbed his arm and tried to move him away from the area he was ripping up, only to find him stiffen his 6 ft. 2 inch 220 pound frame into an immovable rock.
Clearly I needed more help. I looked up in a panic and said quietly “I need help” making eye contact with the person to Micah’s left. Much to my distress, that person looked at me and averted their eyes. This definitely was not a gig they were willing to join. I stared at the turned head for a second, then returned to my efforts to move Micah away from the area in hopes that he would not ruin the service for others and that the lawn would not be destroyed by the time we left. Suddenly a man who was a newer attendee of our church was by my side. He had been sitting across the lawn, but had apparently sized up the need and left his family to come to ask how to help. He was joined by our pastor who somehow stepped away from his main role as pastor in the service to help out as well. Micah, when surrounded by these helpers, suddenly gave up the battle and allowed us to help him stand up, after which I could move him out of the action of the service to an area where we could listen, but he would not be tempted to rip up the lawn.
The good news is that the service this month went smoothly for the first hour as Micah sat quietly and seemed to enjoy the music and the outside service. After an hour he did start to eye the lawn, so I quickly moved us both out of the main area to a quieter location where we finished the service without incident.
In retrospect, as I have thought about the person who looked away when I asked for help, I have been reminded that I can’t be self righteous in my attitude towards them as there have been times when, I too, have averted my eyes rather than step in to assist. Be it from fear; uncertainty of how to help; or just plain not wanting to help, I am sure I have let people down. How thankful I am for those who saw the need and jumped up to assist despite the risk. My goal is emulate the guys who did that for Micah and me. Just think of all we can do if more of us will step up to be that guy.
Jan Lessard Peightell September 13, 2023