In hindsight, I know I should have paid more attention to where Micah was looking instead of counting on the fact that he had already picked out a grapefruit as a treat. It was supposed to be a quick trip into the grocery store to grab a few items needed for dinner. I had talked with Micah about staying with me in the store and the fact that he could pick out something he wanted as long as he stayed close to me and helped out.
Grocery stores are places of great temptation for many people and are a special challenge for Micah. A fact that means that I usually try to shop when he is not with me. But sometimes I have not planned well enough ahead which meant that this trip was not avoidable. The visit was 99% successful until I had my credit card in the machine to pay at the end. I happened to look over to Micah and noted that he was eying the pink bubblegum containers, but before I could even remind him he already had his treat, he reached over and cracked the bubblegum case with his hands and popped the whole case of gum into his mouth. Worse, he was reaching for a second case before I could reach him and successfully popped that one into his mouth as well. I tackled him as he reached for a third, while at the same time shouting to the startled clerk to charge me for three of them while I tried to move Micah out of the store while grabbing our groceries and my credit card.
The most gripping moment of this latest store challenge was not the fact that Micah had so much gum stuffed into his mouth that he could hardly close it (that was actually helpful as he could not swallow it), nor was it the startled clerk who performed her duties admirably, but the two seconds when I made eye contact with the older woman behind us in line. She must have been surprised by the crazy scene taking place right in front of her, but her eyes just registered care and compassion. That one glance just about undid me. Pridefully, I would like to be the mother who can deftly handle the antics that make living with autism an ongoing adventure and challenge. Clearly, at times I cannot and the results can be frustratingly embarrassing. After each challenge, the temptation is try to limit the possibilities of future public fiascos, but that is not only impossible to predict, but also unfair to Micah.
The reality is that we were able to leave the store quickly and I was able to pry the gum away from Micah in the car so that he did not have a sugar overload in his system. At home he went into his room to, in my words to “think about acting better in stores”, which really meant to give me time to cool down. Micah was probably lamenting the loss of the bubblegum bonanza.
Micah’s aide, Melody came up with a helpful solution when I shared the bubblegum episode with her. She too had been struggling with helping him control himself in public settings and wondered if a gait belt would be helpful as it would give us something to grab onto when he is on the move towards objects he should not have. The surprising outcome is that the belt has been welcomed by Micah. He, like many people with autism, seems to find comfort with the extra pressure the belt provides. It is too soon to tell if the belt will be a long term solution to outings, but thus far it has helped. I am not ready to test its effectiveness in a grocery store yet, but hopefully we will be able to venture out again sometime soon….and I will make sure to avoid the candy isle to up the chances of success.
Jan Lessard Peightell January 15, 2024