As a non-speaker, Micah has gone through life not addressing others by name. I know he has known the names of his family members etc. but until he began Spelling to Communicate (S2C), I had no idea that he could hear a name once, and be able to spell it back. He continues to make steady gains in his use of the S2C 26 letter board (photo on right) with Beth and Melody, which indicates that the reality of him being able to openly communicate with use of the board is getting closer (yet taking longer than this Mother’s heart would like). Each session prompts me to want to know more about all the information he knows that he has never had the chance to share.
When Micah’s father knew he was dying, he expressed the fear of not being remembered and I assured him that we would always remember him and that there would always be photos of him in the house as a constant remembrance of him. Micah has a couple photos of his father as well as other photos on his dresser, and I periodically ask him who is in specific photos, pointing to his father. One of the few words he has consistently verbally said is “Dad” or “Da” when I point to his father’s photos. Because he does not refer to others by name, I began to wonder if he knows the spelling of his family members’ names, or what his father’s first name was, so recently at the end of our S2C sessions I began asking him a couple family information questions per session. I should not have been surprised, but clearly I still tend to self-protect myself from hope, as Micah nails every question. For example, what was your father’s first name, instead of Dad or Da, Micah spelled out Gary; when asked what is your sister’s daughter’s name, he spelled Alyza; what is your brother Scott’s daughter’s name, Naomi; what is Jamie’s husband’s name, Chris; can you name one of Ian’s sons, Garret; what is your Godmother’s name, Diane; who is Evie’s father…Josh. He knows them all and spells them easily. Full disclosure, I had to be taught the correct spelling of his nieces’ names and did not immediately get them right, but Micah has apparently had all the names correctly spelled in his brain without anyone teaching him. He has shown that he could map out our full extensive family tree , yet I was never aware that he was paying attention to those family dynamics. This may not seem surprising to others, but it continues to astound me. Each day we learn more of what he has tucked inside and each step forward brings us closer to knowing more about our Micah who has been silent for so many years.
Beth, his S2C practitioner has cautioned us that openness in communication comes with challenges. There are a lot of heavy duty emotions to sort through for Micah and for us. We may hear things from him that are hard to learn. Just reading the book “Underestimated” has been an emotional roller coaster as so much that was written about Jamie, the young man that book is about, could have been written word for word about Micah. Some of those who love Micah have had to inch their way through the book as it is an emotional minefield. Too close to home, too many deep wounds.
As I dare to think ahead, I wonder, will this be the Christmas that Micah actually asks for a gift that he wants versus me making my best guess, but wondering if it is something he would actually choose? Will he be able to tell us what he really wants to eat versus just repeating the loop of saying he wants french fries and chicken when we ask him what he would like? Will he be able to tell me why he is feeling sick versus me guessing and hoping to give him the correct medicine for what is hurting him? For these questions and a million other reasons, openness cannot come soon enough, but we trust it will come in time. For now, please stay on your knees prayer warriors, and stay tuned as we wait.
Jan Lessard Peightell August 26, 2024