For years Micah’s shaver sat on the shelf in his bathroom, used by myself or his personal care attendants to shave him each morning before he headed out for the day. Then one day it was gone. A quick search did not prove successful so shaving was skipped that day. A more complete search located the shaver tucked way in the back of the cabinet under the sink. I put it back where it belonged, wondering why Micah moved it, but not giving it much thought as he has moved other items randomly over the years, some of which never were located.
The shaver stayed in its spot for another week or so, then disappeared again. This time I knew where to look, found it and put it back. I happened to mention to Melody that Micah had started to hide his shaver which was a new odd behavior. Melody suggested to ask Micah why. This does seem like a common sense thing to do, but alas, I had not thought of doing that as he has not been able to communicate the whys of his behavior to me for over 30 years. My brain has not caught up to the reality that he is getting more and more open in his communication through Spelling to Communicate (S2C). At this point, he has made big communication gains and has demonstrated semi-open and open communication with Melody and Beth. Once suggested, of course, my response to Melody was to please ask him why he was hiding the shaver.
The response should not have been surprising….he said he did not want to shave. When Melody asked why not, he said he wanted to look like his Dad. Mic drop for Mom. For those of you who don’t know, Micah’s father died of a brain tumor when Micah was fourteen. I was never sure until S2C if Micah remembered much about his father. I knew he was very close to his father, but we never knew how much he was taking in back then. Now we know he has the best memory in the family, and we are slowly getting glimpses of all he has stored in his memory over the years as he communicates via the letter board.
When Melody shared Micah’s reasoning about wanting a beard I let it settle into my mind for a half second before telling him growing a beard is a great idea. The shaver went back under the sink. And day by day he looks more and more like his father.
What a journey we are on. I must confess I am a bit jealous that Micah is open in communication through the letter board with Beth and Melody, but not me yet, but I have been repeatedly assured that this is often the case. Micah and I have a complicated emotional connection. I am so anxious to finally hear from him that I think I stress him out as I try to keep up with his superior spelling capabilities. Time will help us both. Meanwhile I need to learn how to help him care for his beard while also learning about the complicated brilliant mind that has been hidden for far too long.
Jan Lessard Peightell December 10, 2024