I first heard about the Surfing with Smiles event from my husband Dean’s daughter who asked me if Micah might enjoy an event where volunteers teach people with disabilities how to surf. As Micah loves the water, I went online to research the event, but learned that all the slots had been filled very quickly. As getting on the list is very competitive I found that if I wanted to try to sign Micah up for this free adventure, I needed to apply immediately after the event was posted the next year if I hoped to get him on the list.
This year, I had the sign up date on my calendar and went on line to sign Micah up within minutes of the 11:00 opening for applications. And the good news that that Micah was one of the lucky 80 people to make the list. I did not start to get concerned about Micah actually being a participant until I read the liability waivers I had to sign for him as his guardian and learned that one of the requirements was that he would need to put on a wet suit to participate. Micah does not usually like to try new activities and I began to worry that he would not get beyond step one of the adventure if he would not tolerate the wet suit, not to mention the scary liability waivers. As the day drew nearer I began to think that signing Micah up was a decidedly bad idea, with many “what ifs” going through my mind. To top it off the event was the same week as a major family gathering so I started to secretly hope that the weather would be so bad that the event would be postponed or cancelled. This seemed a safe hope as it had been raining with frequent thunderstorms most of the month.
When the day of the event dawned dark and rainy, I checked my e-mails for a cancellation notice, only to be greeted by a cheery e-mail saying the weather was supposed to clear and they were looking forward to all the wanna be surfers to arrive that afternoon. Fortunately for Micah I had asked his aide Melody to come with us on this adventure. Melody was very excited for Micah and talked with him about what she believed would happen when we got to the beach as I looked skyward hoping for a monsoon to strike quickly.
First stop was to pick up the wet suit. Friendly volunteers greeted us and sized up Micah’s 6″2″ frame and gave him a wet suit to squeeze into. I waited to see if Micah would decline, but with Melody’s encouragement we got him into the wet suit only to conclude it was too small. I was braced for Micah to become anxious and upset when we told him he had to try a bigger size, but much to my amazement, he helped peal the wet suit off and donned a suit that was a much better fit. First major obstacle was a breeze and by then the rain that had been coming down all day turned to a light sprinkle.
When we got to the beach where the surfing event was to be held we were met by more super friendly volunteers and surfers who told us how much fun the event was. There was a good amount of waiting for the event to start as we got there early, another possible trigger for Micah to melt down. but he busied himself in the sand while we waited for the time when the surfers were shown on land what they would be doing on the surf boards in the water. I was thinking the land demonstration probably did not make a lot of sense to Micah, but when they asked if anyone wanted to try out the surf board on land, I was astonished to see Melody lead Micah forward to give surfing a dry run. He not only got down on the board, but he even seemed to like being one of the demonstrators.
All too soon, Micah’s name was called for his in water surfing turn and I watched him go into the ocean with his team of about 7 volunteers all of which he towered over. Micah looked back a couple times with a look like “why are you sending me off with these people I do not know?”, which made me want to go with them, but I know nothing about surfing so stayed rooted to the shore as the surfers went off to catch a wave with Micah. It took him a few times to understand what the volunteers wanted him to do in the water and he looked concerned, but he finally lay on the board and rode it to shore with a big smile on his face. My biggest regret was that I had not had the forethought to tell the volunteers that his go to answer to any question is “no” even if he really wants something, thus when they asked him if he wanted to go again, he said “no”, so they brought him back to shore. Micah was fine coming back, but I felt badly he did not get to experience surfing for a bit longer. Then I surprised myself by the thought that next time I would better prepare Micah and his volunteers; realizing that the biggest hindrance to the entire experience was not the volunteers or Micah’s autism, but ….me!
On the ride home Melody kindly re- framed the experience by reminding me, that as his mother, my first instinct is to protect, while she is freer to push him to go beyond his comfort zone. By doing so , she pushed us both successfully towards a positive, unforgettable experience. I think I can safely speak for all three of us, that we hope he makes the list again next year. Special thanks to the organizers for this amazing event!
Jan Lessard Peightell August 19, 2021