Our family suddenly lost a dear friend this month. Losing a loved one is always hard, even with advanced warning, but in some cases, they leave so suddenly that it takes a while for the mind to catch up with the reality of the loss. This loss was sudden and deep. Mike Clare became the honorary Godfather of my sons when he married their Godmother Diane. Over the years, we all learned to lean into his steadfast kindness, intelligence, and genuine care of others. When Mike asked how you were doing, he actually listened not only to the words but to the feelings behind them. As I thought about Mike’s impact, I remembered a time he literally helped to save Micah.
Years ago, our family was invited to spend time at Mike and Diane’s farm in Florida. The adults were in the back yard chatting by the pool while our children played in the yard when Diane’s son David zipped around the house on his bike and shouted, “Micah is up on the roof!” We looked up in horror to see little Micah scampering across the roof of the house. There was no doubt that if he fell off, he would be seriously injured, or more likely killed. I was immobilized, not able to even wrap my mind around the fact that he was on the roof, much less to figure out how he got up there. Thankfully, Mike sized up the situation quickly and ran towards the house with my husband Gary right behind him. Mike knew there was an open window on the first floor that connected to a gable roof that steeply slanted up to the upper roof of the house. I don’t recall who scaled the roof and rescued Micah, all I know is that they got up there and plucked Micah safely off the roof thanks to Mike’s quick assessment of the situation.
Afterwards, Mike could have asked us to try to keep closer supervision of our son, but he did not. He responded with kindness and understanding as he had seen firsthand how quick and creative Micah was when he came up with a plan. We were even invited back, which I can tell you from experience is not always the case when you have a family member with autism.
I was not sure if Micah would want to attend Mike’s funeral service, but I am so glad that Erin helped to make sure he was there as Micah was laser -focused during the service that was different in some ways from church services he is accustomed to attending. When he was asked later about his feelings about the service, he shared via S2C (Spelling to Communicate) that the service was somber and sad, with many people coming to share their respect for Mike. Micah knows Mike is gone, but he has spelled out that Mike’s presence is still with us. Micah’s connections with people alive and those who have gone before us continue to reveal themselves in astonishing ways. I once read a quote, “If our loved ones are with God, and God is with us, they are not ever far away”. Micah knows this far better than most of us, and for now we will hold tightly to this truth as we grieve the loss of Mike.
Jan Lessard Peightell May 20, 2025