If given a choice, Micah would most likely wear one of two shirts and one of three pairs of pants every day year around. Like many people with autism, he has very specific likes and dislikes about the texture and type of clothes he is willing to wear. This has resulted in a battle of wills over the years as I have encouraged him to expand his willingness to wear new clothing Yes, I fully understand that he is now 26 and should be able to pick out his clothing, and he always has choices, but he is not always happy with the choices given.
So frequently, the two shirts that I leave out for him to choose from, will disappear into the back of his closet, or in his hamper, or wadded up in a ball in his drawer. Over the years he has honed my detective skills, meaning I can usually find the deep-sixed clothing fairly quickly, but some items disappear for months or longer, and a few have never been seen again.
I have, with my sister’s help, discovered why Micah will wear “Life is Good” t-shirts, but not other brands. It has nothing to do with their happy designs, but everything to do with the extra softness of the fabric. But oddly, he does not like the super soft fleece pajama bottoms, in fact, he refuses to put them on so they sit pristine and unused while he alternates between the two pair of PJs that he has deemed acceptable.
But, by far, the most unusual clothing habit Micah has is his desire to wear multiple pairs of underwear. I do not recall when he started to do this, but at first I was really concerned, as I am aware as a clinician, that children who have been sexually abused will layer themselves in clothing that is not needed; their way of trying to self-protect with the layers. Micah is non-verbal, and I know people with disabilities can be targeted, so the concern that he might be targeted for abuse has always been in the back of my mind. But as I have observed his layering behavior over the years, the more likely reason for this behavior seems to be that he likes the feeling of a heavy weight around himself. This need for pressure is generally harmless, but became problematic when he went from 2 to 3 pairs to 10, then 16. Then one night, when he must have been trying to win a Guinness World Record in a category he made up on his own, I discovered he had on 22 pairs of underwear. He was busted when he literally could not move well or pull his pajamas down when he headed to the bathroom. Asking him what in the world he was thinking is not a great plan, as he probably would not tell me even if he could. Helpful family members rightly asked me why he had 22 pairs of underwear to begin with. Thereafter I reversed his game and began to hide all underwear but two pairs in his drawer at a time.
Shortly after the 22 pair night episode, Micah met his new doctor. This was a big change as I had successfully begged his pediatrician to continue to cover Micah until he was 26 as his pediatrician was so good with him. Additionally, his former pediatrician did not treat me as the neurotic mother that I can sometimes be when trying to figure out what is going on with Micah health wise. But alas, after Micah turned 26, Dr. Hollister kindly, but firmly told me that it was time for Micah to be covered by one of his colleagues who specializes in caring for adults with autism.
The initial meeting went well and I was impressed with the fact that his new physician had read Micah’s medical history ahead and that her manner with Micah put him at ease. It was towards the end of the visit when she asked me if I had any other concerns, that I decided to brooch my concern about his need to layer on the underwear. Clearly this was a new one for her and I think she was trying not to laugh, but with a straight face she began to barter with me on underwear numbers. “What would be an acceptable number for you, would it be 5 pairs…would it be 7?” Quite honestly, she probably thinks I am the one whose behavior needs to be modified! And frankly, with all the tough behaviors that other people with autism exhibit, piling on the underwear is pretty low on the dangerous scale. Negotiations broke down on the underwear tally, but I did get her point to not sweat the small stuff. These days he gets 2 pairs and often sneaks a few more out of the laundry to show me that he is on to my rationing and will have nothing of it. The downside is more laundry to wash, the upside is a happier son who exhibits an odd behavior that makes me laugh when it is not making me a bit crazy.
Jan Lessard Peightell November 16, 2020