Ever since he was an infant, Micah has loved water. I am sure I encouraged him spending time in water as taking a bath has always been therapeutic for me so when my boys were little, I let them play with toys in the tub as long as they wanted as a way to unwind and relax. Because water proved to help reduce Micah’s anxiety, years ago, a pattern was established where he showers in the morning and takes a long bath in the late afternoon/early evening, ensuring that he is one of the cleanest guys around.
Micah never had a fear of water which was dangerous when he was small as he would run towards water and right off the dock regardless of the depth of the water and the fact that he could not swim. Because of the risks, we did not put in a swimming pool in the yard until he was tall enough to touch bottom. Attempts to teach him to swim, were successful, not so much from the efforts of those of us who tried to teach him, but from his own experiments on navigating in water in a manner that works for him. Thus today, I know he is safe to jump into deep water and swim with his unique strokes around the pool or lake without other swimmers on high alert.
During the cooler months, one of his favorite activities is to head to the YMCA for swim time. The pandemic closed many opportunities for Micah in the community last year including swimming at the Y; a very hard loss for Micah. Fortunately, the pool has reopened so he has been able to return for the past couple of months, with new restrictions added. One of the more challenging new restrictions is that there is no more free swim, but swimmers can reserve lanes that they are supposed to swim in for the amount of time they have reserved. This new rule does not make sense to Micah as his way of swimming is exuberantly jumping and splashing, and given his size, this mode of water enjoyment is hard to maintain in one lane. The good news is that the staff at the YMCA have known him for years and are helpful in giving him the lane with the most swim/splash room as well as extending grace when he goes outside of his allowed splash zone. Their kindness and care reminded me of an incident that occurred a few years back when Micah and I traveled to Florida to spend some vacation time with his Godmother, Diane.
Diane and her husband Mike spend winters in Florida in their home located in a 55 and older community. Their development includes a wonderful heated outdoor pool for the residents and their guests that is a special treat for Micah and me. On the day of the “incident” we noted that several ladies were engaged in a water exercise program in the shallow end of the pool. No one was in the deep end so I let Micah hop in the pool and go to where he could stand in the deep end and enjoy the water by running his hands through it and jumping up and down; his preferred water activities. I sat at the pool edge and began chatting with two sisters who were visiting from Indiana who remarked on Micah’s love of the water. As we were discussing the news about a pending snow storm headed towards home in New Hampshire, my cell phone rang and I excused myself from the conversation to take what I hoped would be a quick call from work. I sat on the edge of the pool watching Micah as I talked on the phone and observed that the ladies had finished their exercise program and were scattered around the pool in lawn chairs. The pool now had one occupant, Micah, who was having a wonderful time jumping and splashing in the water. As the phone call continued, I became aware of a man behind me who was speaking loudly to another man who was cleaning around the deck chairs, but I did not pay much attention until I heard him angrily shout, “stop jumping in the pool.” Still holding my phone, I looked back to see the man standing behind us, outside of the pool area shouting at Micah to stop jumping. I said, “Sir, he has Autism”, to which he replied, “I know he does but rules are rules and the sign says no jumping” adding a few choice words that I will not repeat. After 20 plus years of living with autism and dealing with peoples’ reactions to my son, one would think I would be ready for such a reaction, but his angry words shocked me and I was frustrated to find my eyes filling with tears. As I was trying to compose myself enough to point out that the sign meant, no jumping into the pool, I found myself surrounded by three of the ladies from the exercise class who had left their comfortable spots at the other side of the pool to come to my side. One said, “don’t worry about him, I will go talk with him”. As she moved towards the man who was still shouting, I looked at the others and asked if the shouter was a lifeguard or the person to runs the pool, to which one snapped, “he is nothing, do not pay any attention to him, the sign means no jumping in and out of the pool, not no jumping at all”. I looked at Micah to see if he was upset about the angry shouting, but fortunately he seemed oblivious of the drama that was unfolding around him. When I turned back, the angry man was gone and the ladies who had surrounded me were headed towards their former sunny area on the other side of the pool. As I said thank you to the ladies, I walked over to put my cell phone in the bag and started towards pool. One of the sisters from Indiana quickly asked, “you’re not going to make him come out of the pool, are you?” to which I replied, “No, I am just going to join him”. “That’s good” she said, “I was ready to take that guy out by myself, but I decided to start praying instead.” That last comment made me laugh out loud and Micah and I enjoyed another half hour of water time before it was time to head back for lunch. As we left several of the ladies said goodbye, wishing us a great vacation.
I wish I knew the names of the wonderful ladies who stepped out of their comfort zones to defend my son as I would love to give them a public thank you. They were a force to contend with and helped turn an ugly scene into a positive memory for this mother, as well as blessing Micah with ample water time during our Florida vacation.
Jan Lessard Peightell January 14, 2021