Earlier this month Micah and I traveled to New Jersey for a visit with his sister Jamie and her family and to see the farmhouse that they had moved to last year. The trip down was grueling due to the weekend holiday traffic, but Micah is a good rider and by the grace of God we made it through the New York city traffic without incident to get there safety.
Their farmhouse is over 250 years old, lovely with all sorts of unique features only found in older homes. It was a treat to get to see their house and barn and to meet their goats and chickens. Micah and I were to stay in an upstairs bedroom so we went up to settle in and I took him into the bedroom and bathroom to acclimate him to where we would be for the next couple of days. In the bathroom I showed him where to locate the towels etc, but when we went to leave the bathroom we found that the door knob came off the closed door and we were locked in. After a moment of panic, I remembered that I had my cell phone in my pocket, so I called Jamie who fortunately had her cell phone on her. She quickly came up to rescue us, explaining that part of the reality of living in a very old house is that things are often breaking. They were aware that the door needs fixing, but for the time being her kids were used to not pulling the door fully closed in case it would not open.
I thought fleetingly that not closing the door might be a problem as I have spent years reminding (AKA nagging) Micah to always close the bathroom door when he is in there to give him privacy and to try to teach him some discretion as he has no inhibition about running around in his birthday suit. This was not such a big issue when he was little, but as a grown man it has sometimes been problematic. Thus I reminded him a couple times to be sure not to close the bathroom door all the way, then we headed down stairs to join the rest of the family.
The next day was spent exploring the area. Later in the afternoon Jamie and I were chatting at the dining room table when Micah indicated that he needed to use the bathroom. I told him to go ahead and continued the conversation for quite a while until I realized that Micah had not returned and that he had headed to use the upstairs bathroom. It finally occurred to me that he was probably locked in and indeed, when I raced upstairs that is what I found. Jamie quickly got the door open but Micah was visibly distressed. He headed downstairs but did not join the rest of the family in the living room, instead he positioned himself on a chair in their hallway between two ways to exit their house. I sat near him while Jamie plied her brother with snacks as we tried to show him we were sorry and would make sure he would not be locked in again.
After what must have been over an hour in his chosen safe spot, he was willing to join the rest of the family for dinner and the rest of the evening went smoothly. However I could not help but wonder what it was like for Micah to be locked in. The experience reminded me that while most of us take the ability to communicate for granted, Micah was trapped by an inability to know how to summon help when he really needed it. How can we teach a nonverbal person that it is OK to yell and pound on the door if it won’t open? He certainly was not physically hurt, but the panic that he must have experienced is not something he can even express. The positive news is that Micah seems fine now, for which we are thankful. I am also thankful of the reality that he is well loved by many who are committed to provide a voice and special snacks as needed for the life that is his.
Jan Lessard Peightell October 18, 2022
PS: Micah and Melody have continued to work on tie dye creations. Check out his website. Special orders welcome. https://themicahjames.com/