Mother’s Day is a day of mixed emotions for many women. For many it is a day of well deserved love and focus, but for others, such as those who have lost their mother; women who are struggling with infertility; who have lost a child; or who have children who are estranged, it can be a day of painful reminders of what they long for or have lost. It can also be a day of mixed emotions for those of us with children with special needs. I have been blessed with thoughtful stepchildren, who with my older sons always remember to connect in some way to make the day special; however holidays do not register for Micah, so unless a teacher, an aide, or a family member assist him to do something for Mother’s day, the day is like any other day. At times, holidays have added stress as the changes in his routine tend to trigger some challenging behaviors.
The most memorable Mother’s day with Micah occurred a couple years after his father’s death. For some reason the older children planned to celebrate with me later that week so it was just Micah and I home for the day. To do something special, I decided that I would take Micah out to lunch at one of our favorite local eateries. It was a beautiful May day in New Hampshire, a bit windy but that is always helpful during black fly season. When we arrived at the restaurant I noticed that the outdoor picnic area was set up so I ordered our food then carried our tray of food out towards the unoccupied picnic tables. Upon approaching them warning bells started to go off as I observed that the picnic tables were sitting on a thick bed of fragrant pine mulch. Many people, myself included, like the smell of the mulch, but it is probably safe to say that pine mulch is one of Micah’s greatest obsessions. He loves the smell and touch of it. I should have headed back inside, but as we were the only people seated outside at that point and both of us were hungry, I proceeded to the picnic table with our luncheon tray.
Just as we got settled I noticed another family heading towards us to sit at the adjacent table; a mother, father, two children, and their granny in a wheelchair. About the same time they sat down, I realized that I did not bring any napkins out. I figured, at most, it would take me 30 seconds to run back in and grab some napkins while Micah was focused on enjoying his meal, so I made the mad dash to retrieve the needed napkins. As soon as I headed back out towards the table I realized that I had made a dreadful mistake as Micah was happily digging into the pine mulch and throwing it into the wind which was blowing the mulch all over granny in her wheelchair. I felt like I was in a slow moving nightmare as I raced back to stop Micah. As I ran by them, I did catch glimpses of the shocked facial expressions on granny and her family members as they were all now being pelted with pine mulch. I would like to say I graciously apologized, but I was so incensed that I grabbed Micah and the tray of food, raced us to my car, shoved the food in the back seat and peeled out of there. It was only when we got back home and Micah was once again enjoying his meal off the tray that I had basically stolen did I begin to appreciate how funny the situation was, and how I had made it so much worse by my reaction. I did return the tray (albeit, another day, under cover of darkness) and that day has left some fun memories, not only for us, but I suspect for the poor family who was pelted with pine mulch as part of their Mother’s Day celebration.
May this Mother’s Day be filled with love, adventure, and joy for each of you as you celebrate the special mothers in your life.
Jan Lessard Peightell May 6, 2020