When attending a community event, Micah and I were approached by a man I had never met who greeted Micah by name then turned to me and asked, “Are you Micah’s grandmother?” I would like to say, that as a good mother, my first reaction was to wonder, who is this man and how does he know my nonverbal son, and those questions did come to me, AFTER I mentally made note to call the salon to get my hair dyed as soon as they opened next. Only after that did I manage to respond, that no, I was Micah’s mother (emphasis on the word mother), then more sweetly, “how do you know my son?” He went on to explain that he helped out at Cafe 1269 in Manchester where Micah volunteers each week with his aide Melody. It was then that I began to understand why the gentleman was confused about who I was because every parent of a child with special needs should be blessed with someone like Melody in their child’s life. Melody was assumed to be Micah’s mother because when I cannot be there, she is there each week day to protect and guide him as he navigates life away from home.
Several years ago, when she first began helping to care for Micah, Melody worked on Saturdays and called herself his “Saturday mom” as she found herself as fiercely protective of him as she is of her two adult children. When Micah’s weekday aide left her job, Melody seamlessly transitioned into the full time position, bringing with her countless creative ideas of how to help Micah have the best quality of life possible. It was Melody who first suggested that Micah sign up as a volunteer to help prepare and serve meals to the homeless at Cafe 1269. Despite my initial skepticism, her idea has proven to be brilliant, as his volunteering there has been a win/win for all. By volunteering at the Cafe a couple days each week, Micah is able to serve and give back and the guests at the Cafe have seen that even people with significant challenges can step up to support them as they face their own life challenges. This is what the gentleman shared with me once I had established my identity as Micah’s mother. He went on to share that everyone knew and liked Micah at the Cafe and that Melody took such great care of him that he assumed she was his mother. His words rang true and I thanked God once again for bringing such a caring person into our lives. Melody makes it possible for me to work my full time job with no worries as I know that my son is in the best of care.
The reality is that there are also many other women, like Melody, who have stepped up in a big way to help parent Micah. Women who have cared enough to let me know when my protection of Micah is out of balance with what is healthy for him and for me. Micah and I owe a huge debt of gratitude to these other women who selflessly guide and support us; such as his God Mothers, his Aunts, Sisters, Sister-in-laws, and cousins. The list also should include past teachers and therapists; co-workers and friends from church who sneak him snacks when they think I am not looking. Another who supplies bags of cotton candy for him as she knows that treat will bring him great joy despite the sugar rush that I will contend with after he has consumed the massive bags full of pink and blue sugar. There is a long list of amazing women who are Micah’s village of support.
So this Mother’s Day I want to say thank you to all the other mothers who have given of themselves to surround Micah with the fiercest of motherly love. May your Mother’s Day be richly blessed.
Jan Lessard Peightell
May 8, 2019