Like everyone else, Micah’s world has shrunk during this pandemic. The recent changes in his life and schedule have made me take even closer notice of those who remain in his tight inner circle as well as those who cannot be near for now. I want to start by giving a shout out to Colleen Matson who has shown up each weekday to help care for Micah so I can continue to work. Because Micah’s volunteering is on hold and his swimming program at the Y has been closed, their go- to daily activity is to go on long hikes all over southern New Hampshire. Colleen is a avid hiker, and one of the rare individuals who can keep hiking as long as Micah can. Thankfully most days the weather has been clear enough for them to hike many or a few miles despite intermittent rain or snow showers. Colleen is not someone we would have been likely to meet without Micah, and in thinking about her, I was reminded of many other contacts with people over the years that would not have happened without the influence of Autism in our lives. Most meetings have been positive, some not so, but all learning experiences just the same. A few that come to mind are:
Dr. Pinto-Lord was Micah’s pediatric neurologist. I probably learned more from her about how to deliver hard news in a kind way than I did in multiple social work college courses. As much as I did not want to hear the definitive diagnosis, I was thankful that she was frank and honest; confirming what had been long suspected but not voiced. It was a loss to us when she retired after supporting Micah and me for over 20 years.
Then there was Lenore, the “bird lady” as we called her. She was one of Micah’s first aides who loved birds so much that at one point she had well over 100, all in cages in a room in her home. If Lenore called the house we knew it was her before we even got the phone to our ear as the bird room must have been right next to the phone. I once visited her home and each cage was spotlessly clean but the noise was deafening. We decided her husband was either a saint or deaf!
I am also reminded of the kind people we met one night at the rollerskating rink. When the children were little we liked to take them to the rink for family skate night. Micah was not able to skate independently, but enjoyed being pulled around the rink while holding our hands. When he tired (or we did) we would have him sit at a table in the snack area while we made a circle or two without him. One night, when he went for his break time, we went around once and he was sitting like an angel at the table where he was asked, waiting patiently for us. However, the next time around he had left his seat and was sitting with a family we had never seen before, rapidly eating as many of their nachos he could get into his mouth before we got there. We apologized profusely and explained that Micah has Autism and is non- verbal. They were very sweet and understanding and then asked, “is he deaf too?” That question almost made us laugh out loud as Micah probably has the best hearing of all of us, but he was so busy trying to eat all their nachos before he got busted he never even looked their way as they tried to talk with him!
Another less pleasant, but memorable meeting took place one hot day at the Deerfield fair as Micah and I were trying to navigate through the throngs of fellow fair- goers to get something to eat. I was holding his hand basically pulling him through the crowds, when I heard a loud low “Hey” and found myself looking into the eyes of a biker lady who looked about ready to kill. I followed her gaze and saw that Micah had a handful of her french fries in his other hand. A world’s record of explaining special needs occurred before she said “OK” and pushed on through the crowd, leaving me thankful for her forgiveness as I knew she could have easily left us both squished in the dirt of the fairground.
Theses are just a few of many other seemingly random connections that have helped to enrich our world. Some meetings have had long lasting, profound impact; others a lighter impact that left whispers of memories to bring a smile and remind us of the times to come when our world is able to expand and we can meet once again.
Until then, stay safe and well.
Jan Lessard Peightell April 23, 2020